Yum!
I confess to playing around lately – with my food, that is. I’ve been flirting flagrantly with a macrobiotic diet.
MACROBIOTIC. Ahem. We all know that “macro” means “large” and “bios” refers to “life.”
But is eating macrobiotic foods actually “living large?”
Orzo!
The macrobiotic diet consists of WHOLE grains, RAW vegetables and UNADULTERATED fruits, legumes (whatever they are), and lots of FRESH green plant leaves. ABSOLUTELY NO processed foods. NO additives. NO preservatives. NO artificial colors. NO butter. NO sugar.
(STAB to my heart) What, NO sugar?
NO kidding! NO double chocolate fudge cream frosting from the can. NO Swedish fish. We’re talking RAW stuff like crab grass and dandelions – NOT like uncooked cookie dough. NO means NO, baby!
Only ALL natural virginal foods. Pure, HEALTHY eats.
Will work for food, but Jeez this is hard labor.
I wonder, is this “Food for the Gods” actually good for the soul? What if it merely makes you critically PMS cranky? And chronically pining for comfort food?
Photo Credit: Fizzies.com
For someone weaned on Twinkies, Spaghetti-O’s, Dots, and Root Beer Fizzies (don’t you just love ’em?) – “macro” is indeed an adjustment to “healthy” food.
SUGAR. Can’t live with it. Can’t live without it. I love it brown. I love it white. I love it in cubes. In a bowl. On a stick. In a wet paper packet. I love it as a liquid, gas, and solid. Maple sugar candy is like crack cocaine to this sweet toothed junkie. My hyperactive pancreas craves it.
BULGAR WHEAT and GREEN LENTILS. Yum. Really tasty if you enjoy bowls of sticks and stones. Four out of five goats prefer rusty tin cans.
Mmmm!
WHEAT GRASS. Really, now – should grass be a liquid? And be served in a methadone maintenance cup? Yes, some brave souls down it like vodka shots, but I hear Astroturf is tastier (ask any goat).
Need I remind you what happens to your poor dog when he’s foolhardy enough to eat grass in the back yard? Not a pretty sight.
SPELT. Never heard of “spelt?” You are not alone. (but you will be… when that dynamite kicks in and you’re frantic for a restroom) People who eat spelt regularly (Ha, Ha. Excuse the pun) are, no doubt, svelte as a cheese cutting board. The phrase, “Whoever spelt it, dealt it” will unfortunately come to mind.
SEAWEED. Available in many unappetizing colors (many a shade of gray) such as inkjet black and funky fuchsia, seaweed is the texture of shredded cellophane and resembles alien vomit.
Yippee! Seaweed with a wheat grass pickle relish and I can make my own bug spray.
Oy, Vegan. Perhaps “food for thought” is the best diet for me, after all.
Barb's Blast 