Tag Archives: Paris Hilton

Sweet Talk

12 Feb

Gotta love romance in advertising.  Sweet talk seduces us.

This sharp little Mini Cooper S Convertible is officially Champagne colored.

Sweet Talk

Topless!

However accurate they may be, the words “Beige,” “Fungus,” and “Urine” don’t seem to have the same attraction as “Champagne.”

I hope the paint doesn’t have a lot of bubbles in it.

I’ll bet it’s really easy to get a DUI in this  car.

Cruising topless in your champagne colored car = joy ride.

“Passion” perfume.

Credit: Californiaperfumes.com

Names like “Bonking,” “Boffing,” or “Horny” don’t hold the same power or charm as “Passion,” do they?

“Kiss.”

Photo Credit: Amazon.com

Obviously, “Kiss” says it better than “peck,” “canoodle,” or “buss.”

Wikimedia Commons

Hershey

Hershey “Pecks?” “Smooches?” “Osculations?” No thank you.

Paris Hilton “Tease.”

Credit: Cupidspulse.com

“Tease” says it better than “Shallow,” “Ditzy,” or “Silly Billy.”  Smells like… money!

“My Funny Valentine” available on Amazon as a paperback and an eBook http://amzn.to/tgOu8b

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Paris Hilton’s Foot Reflexology Chart (via Barb’s Blast)

3 Jun

Summer is party time!

Paris Hilton's Foot Reflexology Chart In foot reflexology, the parts of the foot correspond to body organs. This is an analysis of the current state of Paris Hilton’s feet: 1. Her toes reflect what's going on in her head. When a noun, “head” follows “air.” Also a verb. 2. The heel end of her foot relates to her Sexual Organs. Tilted, due to wearing 3-inch spike high heel shoes worn dancing, clubbing, starring in X-rated videos and running towards paparazzi. 3. The heel corresponds to … Read More

via Barb's Blast

Paris Hilton’s Foot Reflexology Chart

30 Aug

In foot reflexology, the parts of the foot correspond to body organs. This is an analysis of the current state of Paris Hilton’s feet:

1. Her toes reflect what’s going on in her head. When a
noun, “head” follows “air.” Also a verb.

2. The heel end of her foot relates to her Sexual Organs.
Tilted, due to wearing 3-inch spike high heel shoes
worn dancing, clubbing, starring in X-rated videos and
running towards paparazzi.

3. The heel corresponds to the Knees – see “head” a verb.
Traces of athlete’s foot visible due to contact sports
with various hunks and cute jocks.

4. Her Sole reveals the state of her Stomach and
Pancreas. Her stomach is shriveled due to years of ditzy
model diets. Pancreas is flooded with Splenda and a
natural sweetness associated with a challenged I.Q.

5. The Balls of her feet tells us what’s happening in the Lungs. Weak from
weed, likely unable to blow up a balloon.

6. The Center of the foot relates to the Heart. Her heart is big as a
ballroom in a 5 Star Hotel, but wide open as a Bentley convertible.

7. The Lower Middle of the feet reflect the Large Intestine. It is often
quite full.

8. The Inside Edge of the foot reveals the Kidney. Her kidneys are
saturated with Perrier, Evian, Pellegrino, Grey Goose.

9. The Outside Edges of the feet are directly linked to the Liver. It is
stressed from drinking green apple martinis at Sunset Strip clubs,
doing cocaine with sleazy boyfriends in Vegas and, of course, from
numerous bookings at city jails.

10. The Big Toe corresponds to the Nose. Bunions indicate
heightened olfactory sensitivity, can smell publicity a mile off.

(Images: novadetox.co.uk, The Bookish Dilettante, funnymations)

Footsies

Hello world!

26 Aug

Welcome World to Barbs Blast!

Follow the Funny with Award Winning Humorist Barb Best… Enjoy!

Paris reads a book

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