Tag Archives: Barb Best

BarbBest.com

2 Apr

YAY!  Because of the POPULARITY of this blog,

YOU can now read it on my new, SEXIER, funnier barbbest.com!

JOIN EVERYBODY there  —>  —>  —>  barbbest.com

Just Click, Like, Subscribe & Join the Funny at  barbbest.com

THANKS!

BarbBestHumorBlog

Barb Best

See you there!    🙂  NOW!

BarbBest

Barb Best

—->    —->    —->  www.barbbest.com

And follow me on Twitter @HaBarb

MORE Holiday Gifts I DON’T Want!

14 Dec

Just wondering… do you know anyone who wants these gifts?

1. COZY PJ’s for 20-SOMETHINGS

 

Perfect for a rockin’ slumber party in their parents’ basement.

They are so cute with those footsies and tails… why, they look like toddlers.

Oh, wait, they kind of are like toddlers.

Oh, well.  Arrested development is so definitely under-rated.

I just want to pinch their cheeks!

You can find these hooded, footed jammies in SkyMall.

 

2.  MAGIC WAND REMOTE

For the man who has everything?  Voila!  Yes, another remote.SkyMallIt’s sheer magic.  Perfect for avid Harry Potter fans, too.

http://www.skymall.com/shopping/detail.htm?pid=203672747&c=10200

 

3.  “CAT TOILET TRAINING SYSTEM”

“Potty Train Your Cat Faster Than Most People Can Potty Train Their Kids

SkyMall

Dogs are too dumb for this!


Hmm, let me think, is the cat smarter than my kids?

This is a pretty glamorous product. I bet it’s the same system used in the movie “Meet The Parents.” And there’s a video, too.

You guessed it. It’s available at SkyMall.

http://www.skymall.com/shopping/detail.htm?pid=203198583&c=10723

 

4.  Giraffe

What do you get a two year old who already has a puppy or a kitten?

Yes, a giraffe!  “The perfect accessory in a nursery, this eye-catching giraffe is a great addition to any decor!”   Hope you have a ladder handy.  Wonder how much bamboo and rat guts “Spotty” eats for breakfast every day?

I didn’t have to tell you!  SkyMall has it!

 

5.  ELECTRONIC RACKET ZAPPERS SET

Killing insects has never been so much fun!  Zap!

SkyMallTo hell with reincarnation.  Just pretend you’re swinging at a tennis ball. You can keep score with every fly you swat and spider your squash.

Zap! Zap! Zap! Zam!

http://www.skymall.com/shopping/detail.htm?pid=102870451&c=10430

I want to thank SkyMall for the bounty of creative and entertaining products! It’s a gift of that keeps giving.

Photo credits: SkyMall catalog.

©2011, Barb Best and Barb’s Blast Humor Blog. All rights reserved.

Direct questions regarding permissions: barbsblast@gmail.com

Be a fan of “Barb’s Blast Humor Blog” on Facebook, CLICK HERE
Follow me on Twitter, CLICK HERE

Rhyme Time

1 Dec

Coming Soon!

 

WISDOM

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder

We all grace as we grow older,

Absence makes the heart grow fonder

Smile, smile and you’ll live longer,

 

Money can’t buy happiness

More isn’t more, it’s less.

Life is for the living

It’s better to be giving,

 

Keep your chin up high

You’ll feel better if you cry,

Love is grand and love is gay

Every dog will have his day,

And I was born just yesterday!

Barb Best

 

The master of light verse, Ogden Nash.

The Fly  
The Lord in His wisdom made the fly,
And then forgot to tell us why.  

- Ogden Nash


Judith Viorst is quite funny!

http://www.simonandschuster.com/multimedia?video=626073741001

 

Dorothy Parker of course.

AFTERNOON

When I am old, and comforted,
And done with this desire,
With Memory to share my bed
And Peace to share my fire,

I’ll comb my hair in scalloped bands
Beneath my laundered cap,
And watch my cool and fragile hands
Lie light upon my lap.

And I will have a sprigged gown
With lace to kiss my throat;
I’ll draw my curtain to the town,
And hum a purring note.

And I’ll forget the way of tears,
And rock, and stir my tea.
But oh, I wish those blessed years
Were further than they be!

– Dorothy Parker

Check out The Dorothy Parker Society for everything Dorothy Parker.

Enhanced by Zemanta

Photo Blast

1 Nov

Shoe store, West Village

westvillage

"I'll have what she's wearing!"

The city never sleeps…

Sweet Dreams

Doggie Daycare, Greenwich Village

They'll be here soon!

Sign, Washington Square Park

Beware of lawyers!

Intersection, Beverly Hills

BeverlyHills

Name dropper!

Heaven

©2011, Barb Best and Barb’s Blast Humor Blog. All rights reserved.

Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Barb Best and Barb’s Blast Humor Blog. Direct questions regarding permissions to barbsblast@gmail.com

Be a fan of “Barb’s Blast Humor Blog” on Facebook, CLICK HERE
Follow me on Twitter, CLICK HERE

Top 10 Funny Mom Flicks (via Barb’s Blast)

3 Aug

A favorite for Blog Her ’11 week!

Top 10 Funny Mom Flicks Freaky Friday Jamie Lee Curtis – she's the mother, she's the daughter, she's the mother in the daughter's body, she's the daughter in the mother's body?  Whatever!  Gosh, role reversal comedies are confusing! She jams at The House of Blues with your garage band, tells your creepy English teacher to take a hike, hops on a Harley for a love ride with the d … Read More

via Barb's Blast

Paris Hilton’s Foot Reflexology Chart (via Barb’s Blast)

3 Jun

Summer is party time!

Paris Hilton's Foot Reflexology Chart In foot reflexology, the parts of the foot correspond to body organs. This is an analysis of the current state of Paris Hilton’s feet: 1. Her toes reflect what's going on in her head. When a noun, “head” follows “air.” Also a verb. 2. The heel end of her foot relates to her Sexual Organs. Tilted, due to wearing 3-inch spike high heel shoes worn dancing, clubbing, starring in X-rated videos and running towards paparazzi. 3. The heel corresponds to … Read More

via Barb's Blast

Flower Power

4 Apr

Spring is here.  Whoopee.  Hooray.

The grass is greening. The flowers are blooming. The birds are chirping. And the weeds are running amuck.

Many lovely people enjoy spending endless hours of leisure time in their gardens. However, you will not find me hunched over digging in the dirt.

10 Reasons I am totally unfit for yard work:

  • Pollen is in the… Ah Chooo0!  (Yes, it’s allergy time)
  • I break out in a rash when I look at goldenrod, trees, grass, leaves, bark, garden tools, and especially rubber gloves.
  • I do not have the calves of a potato farmer. (Thank God)
  • I have to wear a gas mask to walk the weed killer aisle in the hardware store. Too much of an assault on the olfactory senses. (Not to mention a genetic predisposition to cancer phobias)
  • I cannot tell a legume from a key lime jelly bean.
  • Manicures cost a lot of money. (Enough said)
  • You just can’t garden in high heels. (I know, I’ve tried)
  • Nobody – not your adorable 5 year old daughter nor your 85 year old granny looks fashionable in perky bright orange, chunky plastic gardening clogs.
  • Bees. Wasps. Yellow jackets. Black Widow spiders. Scorpions. Snakes. (DUH!)
  • I want to stop and smell the roses, not nurture them through fungus and middle school.

 

 

Oh well. Once a cosmopolitan big city dweller, always a big loser in the garden. Costco and Pro Flowers have great deals on fresh cut flowers – you can skip that whole planting, yard, growing part.

 

“If you have a garden, you have a purpose.” – Sure, to stop sneezing!

Beware April Fool!

31 Mar

Beware!  April Fool’s Day!

 

Like a broken cuckoo clock, even paranoids are right some of the time.

But April 1st is a day when people are out to get you.  (Heh. Heh. I may be one of them…)

Fool’s Day is observed throughout the Western world and has the potential of booming BIG on the internet.  Can you say “viral?”

Of course, trying to get people to believe ridiculous things is a favorite practice every day of the year with some.  As we know, politicians and lawyers thrive on spin, prevarication and bold-faced lying.  Unfortunately they lack the “fun” factor.

 

Check your Twitter feed and FB page for breaking news: “Bigfoot Captured” “Justin Bieber Pregnant” “American Idol Winner Busted” “Charlie Sheen Shuts Up” “Gaga Rocks AARP Convention” “Statue of Liberty Sold on eBay”

Set your radar high.  Be suspicious. Look over your shoulder. Or, better yet – beat them to it. Get creative. Come on, have some fun and “Punk” someone!

AshtonKutcherBarbsBlast

Smooch!

 

FYI Aston Kutcher:  you may punk me anytime.

They (whoever they are) say, “Only a fool plays it cool.” Especially on April 1st – every prankster’s favorite day!

Photo Credit: Techcrunch

Fun To Follow

22 Mar

Some comic gems in the stream of Twitter twaddle:


@finslippy

Smart & Sassy

@onerebelmom

Award Winning Humorist

@MarinkaNYC

NYC Clever

@mollydcampbell

Funny Empty Nester

@HotComesToDie

Twitter profile Suzy Soro

Entertaining & Ballsy Comedy

Join in on the fun! And follow me @HaBarb!

@HaBarb1

Ha!

Click for Comedy

20 Mar
twitter

@HaBarb

Twitter is a great way for humor blogs to send links to funny videos.

@HaBarb tweet

Click for Comedy

%d bloggers like this: