Tag Archives: Dog

Hairy Christmas!

20 Dec

1-800-Pet-Meds

Has your dog “Snippy” had his photo taken with Santa yet?

Has he sat on Santa’s lap and communicated his heartfelt wants?

According to the L.A. Times, an Associated PressPetside.com poll shows 52% of pet owners plan to buy their animals a holiday gift — up from 43% last year.

Your cat “Snots” may insist she only wants world peace for Christmas, but I recommend you have a bag or two of her favorite 90 proof catnip snaps on hand just in case.

poundrescue.com

I’ll bet Snippy’s been a really good boy. (We’ll forget about the four sticks of margarine he ate off the kitchen counter yesterday afternoon. Guess his next big gift to you will come already wrapped… I can’t believe it’s not butter!)

Have you bought him a paw-shaped holiday stocking full of candy cane raw hides?

Or a cute, stuffed toy to sleep with and/or rip to pieces?

He may appreciate some fashionable apparel this season. Leopard tees and red turtlenecks are quite handsome – especially on the less dignified breeds.

Snippy will surely enjoy a spa treatment with honey shampoo, tingling chocolate mint conditioner, spray-on detangler and a much needed teeth whitening.

Ever floss a Rotweiller?  (I didn’t think so…)

Hey Fluffy, why not some Botox to go along with those precious pink bows?

A gift certificate for an acupuncture session is a thoughtful gift for the pooch who barks incessantly. You will enjoy it, too.

If puppy seems stressed all the time, why not enlist a therapy dog for him?

It’s the gift that keeps giving.

After all, aren’t ALL dogs therapy dogs?

Memo from the cat:
It’s a wonderful time to donate to local animal welfare organizations and/or adopt a pet!!!

* We wish you a hairy Christmas * We wish you a hairy Christmas *

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Exercise With Your Dog

28 Jun

Feeling flabby?  Been spending too much summer sofa time watching The Food Network and Reality TV?

It’s high time to get in shape.

Why not exercise with your best friend?

 

One, two, three, woof!   One, two, three, woof!   Feel the bow-wow!

Every Dog Has His Day

13 Jun

Freckles

Our sweet dog Freckles, a thirteen and a half year old English spaniel, died last week. He had a good, long life.  He became part of our family when he was a wet-nosed, two month old puppy.

We were blessed to love him, and be loved by him. We miss him terribly. Dogs are special creatures capable of amazing loyalty and endless positivity!

The kindness of veterinarian Dr. Jonathan H. Salkind helped us at the very end: HolisticHomeVet.  Dr. John B. Winters is a great vet who took superb care of Freckles over the years.

Katrina Kittle‘s must-read book: The Blessings of Animals

Best selling book by Bruce CameronA Dog’s Purpose

From More.com – Loving Your Old Dog

Senior Care Doggy Style

by Barb Best

I live with a senior. He’s “up there now” at 91 years. He suffers from debilitating arthritis, shakes like a bobblehead doll, has frequent bouts of colitis and has (to put it kindly) profound nap issues. Although nearly blind, he navigates with his nose and his keen sense of smell. An untreatable fungus with mushroom-shaped growths has sprouted on the top of his once-handsome jet-black snout.

In human years he’s only 13. And, of course, he is a dog; a black-and-white spotted Springer Spaniel to be exact. If he were a human being at this age he would be bursting with vigor, his whole life ahead of him. Instead he is elderly and offers us middle-aged spring chickens many of the same lessons that aging (human) seniors do: patience, grace, dignity, acceptance, gratitude and unconditional love.

In his day, he was a party animal extraordinaire who chewed through a pair of designer sunglasses, an antique loveseat and a Thanksgiving turkey.

Gone is the frenetic puppy that attacked our toes ‘til we laughed and screamed, who snatched our ice cream cones out of our hands, whose warm body snuggled up on our pillows at night.

Gone is the hyper pup that attacked the plumber and the refrigerator repairman with sloppy kisses, who ran circles around the kids, who never met a food group he could resist, who jumped for joy at the sound of his name.

Gone is the noisy one, the constant barker. Present is the mellow one who no longer lives to fetch and play and eat, who is content to laze in the sun.

Today, a fifteen-minute walk in the neighborhood takes the better part of an hour. The pace is tortoise slow and his legs tremble, but the joy of social interaction remains invigorating and the discovery of fresh smells, the rustle of the leaves, the breeze in his face delights him. All in all, he is a happy camper.

I wonder if he get’s a senior discount on his meds? What lessons about life and death has he yet to teach our family? And – last but not least – do they make “Depends” for dogs?

Spring Cleaning Time

9 May

Yoo Hoo! It’s that time of year!

YOU KNOW IT’S TIME FOR SPRING CLEANING WHEN…

Creative Commons

Oh goody! Time to clean!

1.      You can write a novel in the dust on your furniture.

2.      The sofa in front of the TV has more food and trash on it than a movie theater floor.

3. Spiders have built cobwebs on your cleaning supplies.

Web Sweet Web

4. The dog won’t rub his keester across your carpet ‘cause it’s so filthy.

Man, you guys are pigs!

5. The crumbs in your kitchen are suspiciously moving across the counter.

DreamWorks SKG

6.  Your boyfriend/husband/significant other/dog has actually changed more than the sheets on your bed.

You missed a smudge...

7.  A & E is begging you to be on their Hoarders TV Show.

8. Even frat boys think it looks messy.

Universal Pictures

9.  You’re receiving harassing phone calls and emails from Martha Stewart.

I'm perfect. You're not. Ha!

10. Mosquitoes are breeding in the puddle by the toilet.

Take a whiff!

Photo Credits: Wikimedia Commons; Martha Stewart 2010 by David Shankbone,

Spiderman, Hoarders A & E TV, IMDb Animal House – Universal Pictures – 1978,

Antz – DreamWorks SKG



Holiday Gifts I DON’T Want!

9 Dec

Buy at: dachshundsdressedforshow.com

NO “Dog Snuggie” or hip clothing for the pooch

Animals that chase their tails, lick their private parts incessantly in public and sniff strangers’ crotches willy-nilly should not be making fashion statements.

Sorry Ms. Hilton, but I’ve yet to see a Chihuahua look stylish in a leopard print.  Get over it – a Bassett Hound will never be a fashionista!

Credit:petplanet.co.uk

NO to a pet goat!

Yes,  I understand that according to World Vision, “Goats provide milk, yogurt and cheese – and truly change lives.”

BUT if you give me a goat for Christmas, I swear on a stack of Farmer’s Almanacs, I’ll never speak to you again – not even on FB.

FYI: 7-11s provide milk, yogurt and cheese plus highly entertaining tabloids and nifty lottery tickets, too – and they won’t crap on your carpet, scare the poor cat silly or eat the TV remote.


Buy at: Cafepress.com

NOPE to the hokey jokey T-shirts

BTW “I’m with Stupid” is shockingly redundant for most of us.

Duh!

NO self-published autobiographical tomes

Buy at ChronicleBooks.com

How do I make time to read your 5 trillion word (single-spaced) masterpiece?

I don’t have the time or inclination to skim the instructions to my cell phone – and my life depends upon that.

Reading about your madcap adventures with quirky Grandma at The Mall of America three summers ago just doesn’t scream “High Priority.”

Frankly, it suggests a deep sleep akin to a decade-long coma that one is unlikely to recover from – ever.

Buy at: Amazon.com

NO bizarre personal care items such as “armpit pruner” or “cordless ear wax cleaners” are remotely acceptable as holiday gifts.

“Powerful, yet gentle, suction” should not be used on the ear unless your I Pod headphones have embedded themselves in your ear canals and you literally “just can’t get that song outta your head.”

Credit: ModernPooch.com

NO to the Dog DNA Analysis Kit

($59.95 + $11.99 Shipping & Handling) Instructions read “Simply swab the insides of your dog’s cheeks” – Right!

My crazed Rottweiler-whatever pup will surely let me open his mouth and “swab” away without mutilating my hands and tearing my face off first!

Maybe I can “swab” while I’m brushing and flossing his teeth, he’s so mellow then.

NIX-NAYEnough with the re-gifted curly bow spa baskets!

Soap is soap and I say it’s boring! If you really care…

Come over and give me a Champagne bubble bath and a hot oil massage if you seriously want to gift me like I’m a VIP at The Breakers.

Credit: VanityFair.com

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