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Laugh Last, Laugh BEST!
The eternal question looms before us daily. What to wear?
For me, the answer is simple. What works for me? Black, black and more black!
Boo!
Okay, some gray (it matches my roots) but not too many shades of gray as that shatters my clarity.
As a transplanted NY comedy writer in LA and the 2010 Erma Bombeck Global Humor Winner (Erma rocks!) I feel compelled to wear black most days. (So much so, that my concerned neighbor inquired, “Dear, are you in mourning?”)
For me, black summons the Muse. Black is cosmopolitan. Black is bodacious. Ha, I know what you’re thinking. Yes, black camouflages belly fat, love handles and flabby thighs (all the more reason to love it, I say!)
I like “comfy shab” when I’m plugging away on my humor blog Barb’s Blast (you’re reading it now honey!) or my books (stay tuned!) but also when – like many contemporary women (translation: multi-tasking, overachieving masochists)
I am a working wife (is there any other kind?), working mother (geez, is there any other kind?) coach, mentor, CFO, CEO, COO, microwave chef, dog nurturer, Satellite Sisters & Chaos Chronicles fan, Dorothy Parker & Robert Benchley worshiper, entrepreneur, bad TV aficionado, pop culture critic, aspiring cougar, pet therapist, chief wine and water bottle recycler, caffeine addict and other things I can’t recall.
With classic black and gray styles, I am as equally fashionable squeezing cantaloupe and kiwi in the busy market as editors and clients in onerous business meetings.
I am as comfortable stripping down in airport security lines as I am crafting uppity one-liners.
I look casually chic even when I feel as scattered as a pile of pick-up sticks in a 5.5 earthquake.
Shucks, I toss some fake pearls on and folks take me for a classy broad.
Serious and playful; It works for me.
Classic Song
Play or download at
THANK YOU ERMA!
Andrews McMeel Publishing
We baby boomers share a common “Mirth Mother” in beloved humorist and best selling author Erma Bombeck.
We were weaned on Erma’s wise and witty columns via newspaper clippings that our mothers proudly posted on the refrigerator door (this served as a blog in ancient times.)
While many of our mothers were marginalized by stunted cultural expectations and a crying lack of opportunity, Erma broke through those prickly barriers of her day with brilliant humor and unforgettable humanity to provide Mom with a powerful voice and much needed comic relief.
Sweetly subversive and hot damn hilarious, Erma poked enormous fun at the absurdity of women’s lives yet clearly valued parenting, marriage, and the vital importance for us all to fulfill our potential.
photo credit: Heidiclaire.blogspot.com
Erma epitomized “The One Who Does It All” – successful career, happy family – not to mention fame and fortune – all while being incredibly funny and (genuinely) nice. No small feat, but a worthy goal!
Let us thank “Erma Bombeck, Mirth Mother“ for blessing us with the inspiration, the role model and the legacy of laughter. (Now sit up straight and stop chewing with your mouth open!)
Barb Best, 2010 Erma Bombeck Global Humor Winner
Buy at: dachshundsdressedforshow.com
NO “Dog Snuggie” or hip clothing for the pooch
Animals that chase their tails, lick their private parts incessantly in public and sniff strangers’ crotches willy-nilly should not be making fashion statements.
Sorry Ms. Hilton, but I’ve yet to see a Chihuahua look stylish in a leopard print. Get over it – a Bassett Hound will never be a fashionista!
Credit:petplanet.co.uk
NO to a pet goat!
Yes, I understand that according to World Vision, “Goats provide milk, yogurt and cheese – and truly change lives.”
BUT if you give me a goat for Christmas, I swear on a stack of Farmer’s Almanacs, I’ll never speak to you again – not even on FB.
FYI: 7-11s provide milk, yogurt and cheese plus highly entertaining tabloids and nifty lottery tickets, too – and they won’t crap on your carpet, scare the poor cat silly or eat the TV remote.
Buy at: Cafepress.com
NOPE to the hokey jokey T-shirts
BTW “I’m with Stupid” is shockingly redundant for most of us.
Duh!
NO self-published autobiographical tomes
Buy at ChronicleBooks.com
How do I make time to read your 5 trillion word (single-spaced) masterpiece?
I don’t have the time or inclination to skim the instructions to my cell phone – and my life depends upon that.
Reading about your madcap adventures with quirky Grandma at The Mall of America three summers ago just doesn’t scream “High Priority.”
Frankly, it suggests a deep sleep akin to a decade-long coma that one is unlikely to recover from – ever.
Buy at: Amazon.com
NO bizarre personal care items such as “armpit pruner” or “cordless ear wax cleaners” are remotely acceptable as holiday gifts.
“Powerful, yet gentle, suction” should not be used on the ear unless your I Pod headphones have embedded themselves in your ear canals and you literally “just can’t get that song outta your head.”
Credit: ModernPooch.com
NO to the Dog DNA Analysis Kit
($59.95 + $11.99 Shipping & Handling) Instructions read “Simply swab the insides of your dog’s cheeks” – Right!
My crazed Rottweiler-whatever pup will surely let me open his mouth and “swab” away without mutilating my hands and tearing my face off first!
Maybe I can “swab” while I’m brushing and flossing his teeth, he’s so mellow then.
NIX-NAY – Enough with the re-gifted curly bow spa baskets!
Soap is soap and I say it’s boring! If you really care…
Come over and give me a Champagne bubble bath and a hot oil massage if you seriously want to gift me like I’m a VIP at The Breakers.
Credit: VanityFair.com
ERMA BOMBECK GLOBAL HUMOR WINNER
PAPERBACK FOR SALE on AMAZON
Barb's Blast 