Tag Archives: Chocolate

Sweet Talk

12 Feb

Gotta love romance in advertising.  Sweet talk seduces us.

This sharp little Mini Cooper S Convertible is officially Champagne colored.

Sweet Talk

Topless!

However accurate they may be, the words “Beige,” “Fungus,” and “Urine” don’t seem to have the same attraction as “Champagne.”

I hope the paint doesn’t have a lot of bubbles in it.

I’ll bet it’s really easy to get a DUI in this  car.

Cruising topless in your champagne colored car = joy ride.

“Passion” perfume.

Credit: Californiaperfumes.com

Names like “Bonking,” “Boffing,” or “Horny” don’t hold the same power or charm as “Passion,” do they?

“Kiss.”

Photo Credit: Amazon.com

Obviously, “Kiss” says it better than “peck,” “canoodle,” or “buss.”

Wikimedia Commons

Hershey

Hershey “Pecks?” “Smooches?” “Osculations?” No thank you.

Paris Hilton “Tease.”

Credit: Cupidspulse.com

“Tease” says it better than “Shallow,” “Ditzy,” or “Silly Billy.”  Smells like… money!

“My Funny Valentine” available on Amazon as a paperback and an eBook http://amzn.to/tgOu8b

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Got Nutella?

6 Jul
Nutella Barb Best

Choco lotto!

Help! I’m going nuts (or should I say “Nutsella”) over Nutella!

Why am I seeing Nutella everywhere?  There are pig-size jars of Nutella in the supermarket, buckets of Nutella at Costco, numerous Nutella promotions in women’s magazines, Nutella recipes all over the nutty web, cloying accolades to Nutella on many an otherwise sensible food and parenting blog.

There is probably a support group – N.A. – “Nutellaholics Anonymous.”

Nutella is swella, but enough already. (Overexposure can do you in – just ask Smiley Miley Cyrus.)  And shouldn’t it be called chocolate-tella?  Or choco-tella?  After all, it is chocolate.

In case you’ve been living under a hickory nut tree, Nutella is a popular chocolate and hazelnut spread (a.k.a. frosting) used on sandwiches (especially scrumptious if you’re bored sick with ho-hum peanut butter and jaded jelly) and, as of late, ladled generously onto just about every other imaginable food item under the sun.

Of course, most people secretly prefer eating it straight from the jar – au naturel.

Expect a mouthwatering, finger-licking, lip-smacking experience. The more you consume in one sitting, the better. (So what if it’s 200+ calories a teaspoon.) IT’S CHOCOLATE!

Nutella is silky and seductive.  It won’t surprise you that it was created by an Italian company also known for their Ferrero Rocher sweets.  Ciao, Mamma.  Ciao, Mia.  Ciao to your waistline.

Nutella “Umbrella” spoof:

I Heart You

18 Jan

It is mid-January and we all know what that means: the winter blues, blinding snowstorms, frigid temperatures, searing credit card bills, tedious diets, MLK day, I Have A Dream, football, and – of course – chocolate.

Did someone say “chocolate?” Yes, chocolate! Kiss me quick!

My lips to yours!

The Valentine’s Day chocolate, wrapped flamboyantly in all of its heart-shaped, ruby red glory is on full frontal display NOW in every retail store in America.

And not a moment too soon. The collective holiday cheer and goodwill has worn off like the crotches of our faded blue jeans.  We need sweetness. We need love. We need romance. We need chocolate!

Welcome you cocky Cupid-cooing boxes of cocao creams.

Seduce us with your curly velvet bows and sexy see-through cellophane slips.

Bring it on, smooth, juicy cherries and succulent berries dripping in it.

So what if the clearance rack of dusty chocolate marshmallow Santas and forlorn Christmas reindeer sit nearby begging for someone to rescue them from their inevitable fate in the back alley dumpster?

V-Day Godiva is here.  People salivate at the word “Godiva” not because they are aroused by the image of a callow nude beauty on a studly horse – but because their taste buds anticipate the luxurious rush of cocoa lust.

Milk, white and dark.  Nuts, no nuts. “Love, luv, luff, heart” them all back. Especially dark chocolate. You need those delicious antioxidants. Doctor’s orders!

Here’s a link to a great article by Brianne Carlon Media on “Hearty Healthy Chocolate” http://briannecarlon.wordpress.com/2011/01/07/hearty-healthy-chocolate/

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