Birthday Babes

7 Sep

Barb's Blast Humor Blog

Has “the sweet bird of youth” flown the coop and left you humming the blues?

Birthdays (especially milestone birthdays – you know who you are) tend to inspire heartfelt contemplation and soul-searching reflection – in spite of our vigorous attempts to resist such angst-inducing review.

It is indeed more pleasant to fill ourselves silly with a delectable excess of red velvet cake and cheap champagne ’til our senses are lulled into the lovely La-La Land of Ennui than to stare mortality squarely in the ugly mug.

My recent birthday musings were conveniently not focused upon me.  Nonetheless, they include these insightful gems (cough): 

I'm an old man!

… and he doesn’t look a day over 5 months old (in stuffed elephant years, that is).

  • Barbie has a Facebook Page with over 2,500,000 friends. Why don’t I?   Boo Damn Hoo.  Life is NOT fair!

Photo Credit: CarrieBee

  • How old is Barbie anyway?  I sure can’t tell… she’s obviously had tons of “work” done.  She was born in 1959 – you do the math.
  • “Malibu Barbie” only admits to being 18 years old, but we know better, don’t we? What a marvel she is – years spent lounging on the beach in a zebra bikini and no apparent sun damage. How does she do it?
  • Why isn’t there a Beverly Hills Barbie (aka Botox Barbie)?  Just imagine the designer clothes, accessories, and jewelry.

Damn that Barbie, she has all the fun!


  • Wonder Woman   How old is she?  She still has the perkiest darn breasts! She must work out every day.  It helps to have a wardrobe that consists exclusively of Spanx Power Panties, lycra corsets, and Wonder Bras.

Cool wardrobe, WW


  • Betty Boop  Born in 1930, animated Betty has always been in super shape. Look at those gams. Must be the dancing.

Kick up your heels, honey!


  • My personal favorite.  Mrs. Potato Head got a makeover in 2011 — now she is 25 pounds slimmer.  Potatoes must be good role models.

The new me!


I’ll leave you with these wise words: “Remember my birthday, forget my age!”

Photo Credits: Wonder Woman FAO Schwarz: Limited Edition Wonder Woman Deluxe Trunk Set · FAO Schwarz:;; Mrs. Potato;Betty

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6 Responses to “Birthday Babes”

  1. Joanne (@OpinionsToGo) September 7, 2011 at 8:50 pm #

    Gotta love a post about birthdays and Icons…two of my favorite things. A day that allows one to go to “carb city” and indulge in those red velvet cupcakes! It would be rude not to!

    • BARB BEST September 11, 2011 at 12:13 pm #

      So true @OpinionsToGo “Carb City” – a nice place to visit.

  2. stj05241980 September 8, 2011 at 5:19 am #

    In the words of Judge Judy. ” Beauty can be fabricated but a potato head is forever”. R something like that.

    • BARB BEST September 11, 2011 at 12:23 pm #

      @StupidAssQuestions, or was it “Beauty is potato skin deep, ugly goes to the funny bone?”

  3. dawn September 8, 2011 at 12:48 pm #

    Did I miss your bday? Happy Birthday, HaBarb!

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