You gotta have friends. Song lyrics do not lie.
As an enthusiastic member of the booming Facebook community, you undoubtedly receive numerous, if not hundreds (or thousands if you have a super sexy photo) of friend requests.
Frankly, some of these overtures may come from nefarious dudes who are trolling FB for babe pics to add to their “collections.”
True, but there are clues. Look for the red flags. Listen for the “Woof!”
Here are my top 12 Red Flags – what are yours?
- He is posed proudly in his profile photo wearing a neck brace, a “Star Trek” cap – and no pants.
- He is smiling creepily in his pic with totally tattooed, ape-hairy arms clasped lustfully around his a) many motorcycles b) five teenage wives c) pregnant sister d) machine gun e) camel.
- His photo is a mean, fugly mug shot. It is embossed with a row of federal I.D. numbers, and the fine print reads “Maximum Security.”
- He proudly lists among his activities and interests the following: graffiti, taxidermy, yak farming, farting, and stalking.
- He claims his favorite TV shows are The View, Oprah!, Rachael Ray, and Ellen. (Fat chance girlfriend!)
- His FB friends are exclusively lovely women who look amazingly and eerily similar to you. (Hmmm… this is no coincidence.)
- Under “My Quotations” he lists one by “philosopher and feminist” Pamela Anderson and one by “my hero” Adam Sandler.
- He’s a haggard old geezer, older than your grandfather.
- He is your grandfather.
- He spells his name in pig Latin, OR he uses a name that is only initials, i.e. “B.J.”
- Under “Religion” he proclaims he found God during his first alien abduction.
- He “Likes” the Charles Manson Music fan page.