* Pray tell, do I have gingivitis and not even know it?
*If bovine flatulence causes climate change, will new global regulations cause the price of Camembert to escalate idiotically?
Don’t mooch my cheese!
How do I know there isn’t a flesh-eating virus copulating madly on my TV remote?
Why do the firming qualities of almond butter and avocado paste sadly elude me?
How do you know your terminally cranky mail carrier doesn’t have critical “mental health issues?”
Why is my little sister dating a pig farmer she met on the Internet when she doesn’t even eat pork?
How come you can never find a Bozo Bop Bag to kick the crapola out of when you really need one?
Why isn’t there LIFELOCK for LIPS – “LIPLOCK?“
Who doesn’t need a service to prevent that dastardly faux pas or grossly insensitive remark that we occasionally blurt out in precarious social situations like the office holiday party or Thanksgiving dinner with the snobby in-laws?
I may be full of Arabica beans, but what the blue blazes is the point of decaffeinated breakfast blend?